A Christmas Birthday Story
No, not that Christmas birthday story.
I’m talking about AG’s Steadfast Sidekick who, as you may recall, turns seven this Saturday and had her party over a week ago.
This is her, sans one front tooth and wearing her favorite present:
I’m talking about those glasses, which are fake. Which are carried around in their own glasses case, carted off to school, and worn in pretty much the same manner as prescription glasses. She puts them on to read, draw, watch movies, and do anything else that requires perfect vision.
Which she has.
But which she does not want. She wants to need glasses–specifically, funky hipster glasses like these, and you’d be surprised at how happy this present made her. It’s all very endearing and rather ridiculous.
Here’s something even more ridiculous, though:
When I bought these, the woman at the register said, “Just one pair?”
“Um,” I said. “My daughter’s only 7. One pair’s fine, thanks.”
“Oh, glasses are a big thing now,” said the woman. “All the girls are getting several pairs. They’re accessories. Like earrings!”
Oh, okay then. You’ve talked me into it. Throw a couple more pairs into the bag. When I hand them all to my kid and she says, “What’s all this? I just asked for one pair” then I’ll say, “Oh but ALL THE GIRLS are doing it.”
What I really said was, “Oh, I think a 7 year-old ‘needs’ only one pair of fake glasses.”
That’s your best sales pitch? You can’t possibly think my first grader’s level of trendiness matters that much to me.
I’m 32. Peer pressure stopped working a long, long time ago.